Miryalguda, Saturday 11th October 2008
Today I was most privileged to experience something that not many western people do; a traditional Indian Hindu wedding ceremony. Having purchased a traditional Indian party frock the previous day, I was excitedly anticipating the day ahead and hoping I would look and be able to act the part. In the morning Venu took me to meet his wife and mother at the family home and also to the house of his friend Srinu. It was great to meet these people and be welcomed into their homes for a cup of chai (tea). There homes were modest and well kept. They seemed to be constructed of brick and concrete which is then rendered in earthly colours.
The wedding was at a multi-level function centre in the heart of the small city. The ceremony was held on the third level. Around 650 guests attended. I was the only westerner and one of the last to arrive. It is not impolite to stare in India, so as I entered the hall 650 pairs of eyes were trained on me. That was a strange experience and not the last one I would have for the day. In the hall all of the women sat to the left while the men were to the right. As the day went on the men and women began to mix together more.
The bride's name is Shilpa Jaini, and she is the sister of Naven Jaini, a guy with whom I work back in Australia. Hari is the bridegroom and he hails from Hyderabad.
Hindu weddings once lasted for up to 10 days but have subsequently been condensed to 2 or 3 days. The main ceremony on the first day runs for around 4 hours Unlike western Christian weddings which are a quiet affairs, where only those with official duties make any noise, the Hindu ceremony is very noisy. While the wedding rituals are being performed by the bride, bridegroom, pandit(priest)and various family and friends, the guests are free to do more or less as they please. One man was reading the paper!
So, while the ceremony went on I met dozens and dozens of people and posed for countless photographs. My presence at the wedding seemed to cause much excitement. As it turns out, it was equally an honour for the family that I attend the wedding as it was for me to be a guest. The fact that I made the effort to come was greatly appreciated. Also, I believe, part of the Hindu belief system is that strangers who are guests are to be treated with the utmost reverence. It felt like being a bit of a rock star at this wedding. Thankfully I have been known to comfortable as the centre of attention in a crowd in the past so I didn't find this to be difficult.
The ceremony consisted of several phases, with the tying of 3 knots symbolising the union (similar to the exchanging of rings). There were various rituals involving the bride and groom, many of which invled them showering each other in rice and flowers. Numerous blessings from family and friends, including one where most of the guest file past to bless the couple.
Prior to leaving Australia I purchased a few dozen pens and key rings with Australian motifs and small soft Kangaroo and Koala toys and the like. I tool these along to the wedding to give as gifts to the kids. Boy, were they a hit! I was king of the kids for the remainder of the day; so much so there was a trail of them behind me which was only broken when I went to the toilet (and only then at the insistence of their parents!) Once the toys ran out it was time for autographs (yes, autographs!). Not being truly famous, I couldn't come at just signing my name as it would have felt false, so I wrote individual messages to each child who asked for my autograph, wishing them the best greeting from Australia and signing off with my first name and a smiley face. This all took some time, but I felt I owed them the courtesy to give them my time. Plus, I must say, I do love spending time with children as they afford the opportunity to be child-life yourself. The kids and I laughed our heads off as they asked me to repeat little phrases in Telugu (the local language) which I performed with incredible ineptitude!
In India it is customary to ask direct personal questions, of which I fielded many over the course of the day. All sorts of questions about my country, customs, work life, and even my salary (which I declined to answer) were asked. When I told them my hobbies were singing and playing guitar I was asked to sing for them, and so I obliged. I sang some Beatles and Queen for them, plus a little faux-opera which they found to be quite unusual.
Once the main part of the ceremony came to a conclusion it was time for lunch to be served – for 850 people! (More people accepted invitations to the lunch part of the occasion that the ceremony). Lunch was served to 200 at time – a delicious Thali style vegetarian lunch served by the men-folk to people seated on one side of long trestle tables, again with women and men on opposite sides of the room and, this time, facing each other. You start with an empty plate and the servers file past and add things to it. As is customary in India, food is eaten with the right hand only. There is not a spoon or fork in sight. Ideally, each group of 200 completes their meal and then everyone stands up at the same time. It seems this is just for logistical purposes! I was in the last group to eat which meant I ate with the closest family member and friends of the bride and bridegroom.
One thing I noted, and is evidenced in the photographs I have taken of the marriage, is the extraordinary happiness the bride and bridegroom exhibit on the day. Working in the IT industry in Australia, I come across many Indian people and this has afforded me the opportunity to learn and understand more about Indian culture and, particularly, 'arranged' marriages. While the concept is foreign to western people, once you learn more about it you begin to understand that young men and women are mostly not railroaded into marriages irrespective of their own desires. It is just that the respective families are involved in the process of forming a 'marriage alliance' and traditional 'dating' is not undertaken by the young couple. Just looking at the joy on the faces of the bride and bridegroom satisfied me that they were completely happy to be betrothed and spend the rest of their days together.
After lunch I returned to the ceremony hall and was received by the bride and bridegroom. I had the opportunity to have a chat with them, present them with a wedding gift, thank them and wish them all the best for their future.
Speaking of their future, Hari works for Microsoft in Redmond, WA in the United States of America. In about a month Shilpa will move to the U.S. with him to start their new life together. The wedding experience has been a very emotional one for Naveen and Shilpa's parents. Naveen now lives in Australia and Shilpa will soon be moving to the States. The Jaini nest will be empty of children and this will be very sad for the Mr. and Mrs. Jaini. At the same time, having one's children take up residency overseas provides Indian parents with the pride and satisfaction that they have provided well for their children and they have become successful in their adult life. I'm sure the Mr. and Mrs. Jaini will gladly tell their friends and neighbours how well their children are progressing in life.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Security – A Stark Reminder
Hyderabad, Friday 10th October 2008
Around 12 months ago 45 people were killed in two bombings in Hyderabad. As a result there is a very strong focus on security in public places. Over the course of the day today on numerous occasions I was frisked, scanned for explosives, asked to pass though metal detectors, had my bag inspected or was asked to check it in while entering shops and malls. In a country where terrorist attacks have been common in the last three years (in total over 400 people have been killed in Jaipur, Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and other cities) the levels of security are a stark reminder that one's safety should not be taken for granted. Having said that, India holds no fear for me in that regard. There innumerable ways with much higher probabilities that might take me from this earth.
Around 12 months ago 45 people were killed in two bombings in Hyderabad. As a result there is a very strong focus on security in public places. Over the course of the day today on numerous occasions I was frisked, scanned for explosives, asked to pass though metal detectors, had my bag inspected or was asked to check it in while entering shops and malls. In a country where terrorist attacks have been common in the last three years (in total over 400 people have been killed in Jaipur, Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and other cities) the levels of security are a stark reminder that one's safety should not be taken for granted. Having said that, India holds no fear for me in that regard. There innumerable ways with much higher probabilities that might take me from this earth.
Baksheesh at the Intersection
Hyderabad, Friday 10th October 2008
Today I got a sample of how baksheesh works in India. For around 750 rupees (AU$25 dollars), plus petrol costs, you can hire a car and driver for the whole day. Venu had arranged for a driver to ferry us around Hyderabad as we went shopping. Although there is an apparent lack of road rules in India, there are intersections where traffic light signals should be observed. Our driver tried a last minute beat the red manoeuvre which didn't come off, leaving us stuck in the middle of a massive intersection blocking the traffic attempting to pass though on our left. One infuriated driver whop we blocked flew into road rage mode. The got out of his vehicle and approached ours. As our driver would down his window to discuss the matter the enraged chap feigned a punch through window. Police witness the incident and intervened. Our driver tried to talk his way out of it, but to no avail. The policeman confiscated his license on the spot (we are still sitting in the middle of the intersection and around a minute has gone by). Eventually we make it through to the other side and pull over. Venu and the driver tell me to wait while they go back to attempt to retrieve the licence. After an animated discussion with officer, 50 rupees exchange hands and the license is returned.
Today I got a sample of how baksheesh works in India. For around 750 rupees (AU$25 dollars), plus petrol costs, you can hire a car and driver for the whole day. Venu had arranged for a driver to ferry us around Hyderabad as we went shopping. Although there is an apparent lack of road rules in India, there are intersections where traffic light signals should be observed. Our driver tried a last minute beat the red manoeuvre which didn't come off, leaving us stuck in the middle of a massive intersection blocking the traffic attempting to pass though on our left. One infuriated driver whop we blocked flew into road rage mode. The got out of his vehicle and approached ours. As our driver would down his window to discuss the matter the enraged chap feigned a punch through window. Police witness the incident and intervened. Our driver tried to talk his way out of it, but to no avail. The policeman confiscated his license on the spot (we are still sitting in the middle of the intersection and around a minute has gone by). Eventually we make it through to the other side and pull over. Venu and the driver tell me to wait while they go back to attempt to retrieve the licence. After an animated discussion with officer, 50 rupees exchange hands and the license is returned.
Retail Nirvana – Clothes, "Party Wear" and Gifts
Hyderabad, Friday 10th October 2008
Those who know me well know I love to shop, especially for clothes. India is retail nirvana for me. There are plenty of markets, boutiques and department stores where all manner of goods can be purchased at around one third of the price one would pay in Australia. I have already been on a couple of shopping rampages over here and I dare say there will be more to come. Thankfully for me, Venu works in the rag trade and is a fashionable young chap, so I gleefully followed as he escorted me to various shops around Hyderabad. The main purchases of the day were a traditional outfit for me to wear to the wedding and a gift for the couple to be married. Venu picked up a few items for himself along the way. I really couldn't have asked for better companion and guide!
Those who know me well know I love to shop, especially for clothes. India is retail nirvana for me. There are plenty of markets, boutiques and department stores where all manner of goods can be purchased at around one third of the price one would pay in Australia. I have already been on a couple of shopping rampages over here and I dare say there will be more to come. Thankfully for me, Venu works in the rag trade and is a fashionable young chap, so I gleefully followed as he escorted me to various shops around Hyderabad. The main purchases of the day were a traditional outfit for me to wear to the wedding and a gift for the couple to be married. Venu picked up a few items for himself along the way. I really couldn't have asked for better companion and guide!
Food and Beverage - Hyderabadi Biryani
Hyderabad, Friday 10th October 2008
Venu took me to his favourite restaurant called "Paradise" in the heart of Hyderabad. His favourite dish is the Chicken Biryani they serve at Paradise. Biryani is made with Basmati rice, meat and/or vegetables, and all manner of spices. It is delicious!
Venu took me to his favourite restaurant called "Paradise" in the heart of Hyderabad. His favourite dish is the Chicken Biryani they serve at Paradise. Biryani is made with Basmati rice, meat and/or vegetables, and all manner of spices. It is delicious!
IT Training Mecca
Hyderabad, Friday 10th October 2008
Hyderabad is apparently the IT training capital of India. Venu took me to a district in the city where there appears to be dozens of schools and institutes where all manner of technologies can be studied. Some are accredited, many are not. The amount of billboards advertising courses is stunning!
Hyderabad is apparently the IT training capital of India. Venu took me to a district in the city where there appears to be dozens of schools and institutes where all manner of technologies can be studied. Some are accredited, many are not. The amount of billboards advertising courses is stunning!
Hyderabad and Miryalguda - Friday 10th October to Sunday 12th October 2008
Bangalore, Friday 10th October 2008
The next couple of days promise to be amongst the most interesting and exciting of the trip. Today I will fly from Bangalore to Hyderabad where I will be met by Venu, a good friend of Naveen Jaini, my work colleague from Melbourne. Naveen's sister Shilpaa is to be married in their home town of Miryalguda, approximately 140kms from Hyderabad. Knowing I was going to be in India during the wedding, Naveen very kindly invited me to attend the wedding. What an honour! Venu will look after me during my visit as Naveen will be busy attending to familial duties.
The next couple of days promise to be amongst the most interesting and exciting of the trip. Today I will fly from Bangalore to Hyderabad where I will be met by Venu, a good friend of Naveen Jaini, my work colleague from Melbourne. Naveen's sister Shilpaa is to be married in their home town of Miryalguda, approximately 140kms from Hyderabad. Knowing I was going to be in India during the wedding, Naveen very kindly invited me to attend the wedding. What an honour! Venu will look after me during my visit as Naveen will be busy attending to familial duties.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)